When Ironhide's Away, Sideswipe Will Play
by Sunstreaker's Squishy
Summary: In loving memory of Ironhide. Annabelle is fed up with her alien, supernanny. With no slack in her leash, she's literally at the end of her rope. Then comes Sideswipe, the king of pranks. Will Sideswipe help this damsel? And what will happen to Ironhide?
1. Chapter 1

When Ironhide's Away, Sideswipe Will Play

(In loving memory of Ironhide. You will be missed.)

Sarah Lennox knew the risks of having an Army husband, but she never agreed to him. If it wasn't the random exploding bombs or chasing any "intruders" off, it was Ironhide's overprotective nature toward Annabelle. True, she was only three when he met her, but she's old enough now to not be overshadowed by some monster truck from the "Pit". She's 16 for goodness sake! Will had agreed that Ironhide was going to be the family's guardian, but time was dwindling down to Annabelle's high school graduation. She's already into her second year and her guardian couldn't keep going back and forth from the base to just pick her up from school. Since her mother was stuck at the house with a 3 month old twin boys and housework to do, she really didn't have time to take her independent daughter anywhere. Giving Annabelle a car was out of the question. It wasn't that she was a bad driver, oh, no, Ironhide said that he didn't trust the "safety measures" in those "weak Earth metal" based cars. Sarah went ahead and bought one of those used SUVs for Annabelle. For about a week, Annabelle snuck off on her bike and went to the local mall where her SUV was hiding from her alien nanny. She secretly drove around the area. Sadly, said nanny caught on. That SUV was never. Seen. Again.

The SUV was the last straw for Annabelle. Her teenage rebellion took full force. She would glare at Ironhide and slam the door hard when she would get out of the truck. She knew she had to do something to get back at him. Two weeks passed and finally he came. Sideswipe. The Cybertronian version of Loki, the god of mischief. Oh, the GMC truck threw the biggest temper tantrum when he found out he was coming. Ratchet had to throw about ten wrenches and threaten a systems' flushing session to shut that sparkling up. What made it even worse? Annabelle connected with Sideswipe like they were best friends from the very beginning. Every day, Sideswipe would laugh and joke around with her. Ironhide had to drag Annabelle away when it was time to leave the base.

Optimus could see that those two younglings' bond was strong. He could say it was stronger than Bumblebee and Sam's bond. He was glad that Annabelle was attaching to Sideswipe so well. When Sideswipe first contacted about his incoming arrival, he was informed that Sunstreaker was not with him. The commander knew that was never a good thing for either the twins or the Autobots around them. Family bonds are more serious that humans' own emotional bonds. If the family units were separated, the Cybertronians become distant or even become violent to others. It's even harder on split-sparked twins like Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. Luckily, Annabelle helped filled the void. She didn't replace the narcissistic twin, but she distracted the hurting spark from the suffering.

When Annabelle came up to Optimus about her future plans about college and later on, she stressed that Ironhide was probably going to have even more trouble with the distance. There were no colleges she liked in her area, and the one she liked was about a state away. Optimus hid his smile when she said that. He knew the reason why she wanted to go to that particular institution was because of his weapons specialist. Lennox had occasionally "vented" to him about how he was tired of Sarah telling him what Ironhide did that day. "Optimus, I'm going to be frank with you. I _need_ to get away from Ironhide. Yes, he's protecting us from Decepticons, but does he have to scare the guys I like with that biker/ex-con holoform of his? Drake can't even look at me without peeing his pants? The mech said that he'd get one of his 'friends' to stalk him if he EVER thought of taking me on a date." She gestured wildly.

"Calm down. Calm down." Optimus fanned his hands in a peaceful gesture while trying not to laugh. "Ironhide is a great warrior and he's also an excellent friend. It can't be true that he's this 'obsessive' all the time. "Annabelle's eyes widened. _Oh, no. He's not gonna budge! _She screamed internally.

"But I will accept your wishes. Since you seem to be so adamant toward Sideswipe, I wouldn't forgive myself if I denied you as his charge." _Plus I can't wait to see Ironhide's faceplate when I tell him. _Optimus smiled with his optics glowing brightly.

Annabelle squealed and ran into his leg, hugging it like it was a life line. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! You won't regret it!" She said before releasing her grip and running to tell Sideswipe.

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><p>The silver Lamborghini skidded as it turned onto the gravel driveway. Annabelle was rocking out to Pink's "Raise your Glass". She drummed on the wheel as she sang along with the artist's voice. She raised her hands and fist pumped before realizing she was still in the driver's seat. She nervously grabbed the wheel with a tight grip. "Hey, take it easy, Anne. I can feel that, ya know." Sideswipe said while he lowered the music's volume to a mere whisper.<p>

"Anne" was Sideswipe's nickname that he gave Annabelle. She giggled and blushed. "Sorry. Keep on forgetting that you're not a 'car'." She said, tucking some strands of hair behind her ear.

"Did Ironaft had to deal with your 'death grip' when you were driving?" Sideswipe asked as he slowed down to the Lennoxes' home.

"No. He wouldn't go over 30 mph on the main road when I drove him. He can be a nice guy sometimes, but he can be very 'maternal' especially when dad's on a mission. I guess he gets anxious because he's not watching dad's back." Annabelle said.

"I think…it's time for Ironhide to have some 'fun'. What do you think?" Sideswipe asked. If he was in robotic mode, he'd be grinning.

"I think you're an evil genius." Annabelle retorted.

Sideswipe opened her passenger door, which she climbed out of. Annabelle had to find the perfect prank for Ironhide. He's been working so hard with watching Optimus' backside all the time along with chasing the twins around the base. She jogged up to the front door as her guardian drove away. He tapped his horn as a quick goodbye. The girl's dusty shoes made a trail as she went inside. Sarah and Will were sitting at the dining room table, finishing up some strawberry shortcakes. "Hey, honey! Made your favorite dessert." Her mom said, but Annabelle sped on by toward her rom.

"Save me a slice. I'll eat it for breakfast!" She called out before shutting her door.

Annabelle changed her clothes and tossed them to the floor. She grabbed her PJs off the bed and quickly threw them on. She tied her hair into a long, single braid. She pinched off the ends with one hand while reaching over to the night stand for a rubber band resting on it. She twisted and wrapped the band around the end of the braid. Before flopping on her bed, she got onto her knees and pulled out her secret sketch pad under the mattress. It was filled with some elaborate pictures of the Autobots in their alt forms along with their holoforms, which they sometimes used to "fit in" with society. She was flipping through the pages when a small photo fell out onto the carpeted floor.

Annabelle paused and reached down to pick it up. She turned the photo over in her hand. The picture was a younger version of her father with his outrageous 80s' attire. He had ripped off sleeves, baggy, navy blue shirt and these matching navy blue/light blue zebra pants. She laughed and shook her head. A light bulb went off in her head. What if Ironhide got a new paintjob? Or better yet, he was stuck in his alt mode with his new paintjob on. A large grin formed on her face only the Chester Cat would love. "I found your new paint job, Ironhide."

_To be continued…_

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><p><strong>Okay, this is my new humor "baby"<strong>. **This plot bunny's been nagging me for awhile, but my old story wanted to get upgraded before this guy was written. Sorry for any mistakes or if it seems rushed. My bad. I figured some Ironhide fans need some love since Ironhide had to die in DOTM. So in memory of Ironhide, I made a two-chapter story involving his trademark beat downs of his favorite victim, Sideswipe. R and R. Please see my other story "The Warrior's Heart". It needs some love too. (No flames please!) **


	2. Surprise Paintjob

When Ironhide's Away, Sideswipe Will Play Chapter 2

**Sorry! I've been favoring my multi-chapter story and totally writer-blocking this story too. T_T Well, my brain finally decided to WORK and here it is. I decided to just finish off in this. I was going to get a third one in which Ironhide does his weapon's specialist's specialty and blow up the Twins, but I decided to do it in this one. Hey, please check out my other ongoing story. It's not as humorous, but I have some jokes stirring in my head for the next chapter. Well, without further ado, Chapter 2: " Surprise Paintjob". Also, there are numerous underlined words in there, but please don't bash in my head about it. It's not like the chapter is completely underlined or in italics. Please enjoy the chapter.**

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><p><em>Two days later, Tuesday 6:00am<em>

_Onlining systems: 15.25 seconds_

_Current mode: Ford F-150 Topkick/color: black with chrome trim_

_Reinstating internal communications link: ERROR….no connection_

_Sparkbond internal communications link: ERROR..no connection_

_Holoform program: ERROR…..unable to disengage _

_Body of alternate form: tampered_

_Ending stasis: now_

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><p>The warning signs were getting on my last circuit so I took them all down. I knew something was off. I didn't need those slagging things flashing me to death. So pretty much I have to deal with now until I make it to back to base is no robot form, stuck in this flesh suit, can't communicate with anyone EVEN Chromia, plus someone had the <span>bearings<span> to mess with my alt. mode. Oh, someone is going to be a scorch mark when I'm through with them. My cannons are just humming for some revenge. I turned on my security proximity camera. I was surprised to see Annabelle looking right at me with those cobalt eyes of hers. She's like a sparkling to me. Because of the Allspark is gone, me and Chromia can't have a family, slag, the rest of us can't. If anything happens to her, they have to deal with her "Uncle Hyde". Primus, the first day I reluctantly accepted the guardianship was a nightmare for me. That femme was still an "infant" and her shrieking could put Starscream out of business. The Annabelle standing in front was glaring at me with her arms folded.

"Ironhide, it's only going to last twenty-four hours. Well, the comlink and the mode troubles, anyways. You're going to deal with the paintjob for a whole month." Annabelle said with an attitude.

Knowing from experience, I had to figure out a way to make up to Anna-..Wait, she mentioned something about my comlink and my mode. I checked my scanners and sure enough, I was STUCK in my alt. mode along with my holoform still on. Why is Primus punishing me? I didn't do anything wrong. Sure, I have punched both sets of the Twins into the next millennium now and again, but those slaggards deserved it! Annabelle waited for me as the holoform stepped out of the driver's side door. A part of my sensors were transferred to my holoform, allowing me to "see" from my holoform's eyes now. I turned to see the supposed damage and I might as well been stepped on by that gestalt, the Constructicons. My paintjob looked like one of those four-legged, hoofed animals I've seen in that video I had to see when she was little. (They had those weird stripes on them too.) I think it was "Lion" something. Slag if I remembered the whole thing. I always hated those singing cartoon movies. Let's just say that I stayed at the firing range the whole night trying to get that slagging catch phrase those annoying animals were singing about. The next week I caught Annabelle trying to eat worms and other insects!

I glared at my own alt. mode. It wasn't just the slagging pattern that had my CPU going through scenarios to get back at the person who dared touch me; it was optic relay-frying colors: bright-as-the-sun pink and yellow. I will probably never figure out how it covered up every inch of the black paint that was suppose to be on me, but I really didn't give a frag! I completely forgot about Annabelle and followed her back in front so I can take in the whole picture.

I folded my arms and started to growl. "Who did this? Just say the word and I'll rush over there to terminate them."

Annabelle just smiled and pointed at herself. "I had some help, but I was the brains behind it all." She patted my broad shoulder.

I softened my scowl and looked right into her blue eyes of hers. "What did I do that was so horrible that you even thought of doing this?!" I just let out all my fury into a bellow.

Annabelle was (sadly) use to my screaming voice so she never flinched or even backed away. If it were the Twins, they would have been driving into the next state by the end of my roar. If my real form wasn't intimidating, it was my "biker"/ex-military combo of a holoform. I had the Autobot symbol proudly tattooed on my left shoulder. I had no hair on my head, but with my scar over my right eye, it helped seal the deal in the "stay-away-from-me" department. Plus it didn't help to have worked out during the war. I've (sadly) been flirted and stroked on my arms by human femmes. Luckily (for me not them) my sparkmate would come to my "rescue" and break up the mob.

" I'm tired of all the guys scared of me. I'm sorry, I mean YOU!" Annabelle jabbed her finger into my chest.

" Oh, you should be thanking me. If it wasn't for me, all those slagging glitched-for-brains would be trying to mate with you!" I yelled back.

" God, you're not my dad. I can take care of myself, Ironhide. Not all guys are trying to 'mate' with me, alright? You're too much of a guardian. Your role is to be a friend and a protector from the Decepticons, NOT by the opposite sex! Mom told me you would eventually back off, but I can't TAKE it anymore. You've ran away one too many guys. Maybe after being humiliated like I have, you can see how it feels and finally change your pananoid aft!" I was about to get after her for the Cybertronian cuss word, but she just walked away (more like stormed out).

"Hey! I'm not done through talking, Annabelle! ANNABELLE!" I ran back to my tormented mode and started up the engine.

Well, at least I'm not totally stuck. She has some pity in her. I caught up to her and her mother who were sitting out on the front porch. I didn't even notice them beside her until I heard their cackles. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, the bane of my existence. Their forms were scrawny and completely not my style. They rather have the more tight-fitted jeans with some baggy t-shirt with some band on it (Sideswipe) and some high-end design/brand on it (Sunstreaker). They just laughed and literally rolled on the ground from the sight of my form. I just stood there just growling and cracking my knuckles. " I know where she got the paint." Sunstreaker stopped and his eyes widened in terror. " And the one who told her where to dismantle my transform cog." Sideswipe yelped and covered his mouth.

I grinned from ear to ear as humans say. I even started to snicker while looking back and forth at the two. Sarah just looked at her daughter with a light scowl. "I told you to wait, Anna."

"I know, but I got tired of waiting. Dad can't talk to him from Qatar and Chromia told me to handle it. Besides, she's with dad so he really can't get help either." Annabelle hugged her mom and dragged the Twins over to their respectable forms. They both disintegrated and their forms came to life.

"Las Vegas, here we come!" Sideswipe yelled out as Annabelle got in the car, but she took off her jeans and oversized shirt. She had a mini-skirt and a tank top on.

Before I could even get out a word, they were off. "Did that idiot say what I think he said?" My veins were popping all over from the "adrenaline rush" that my holoform was having.

"Relax, they're not going there, but I'm not telling you where they're actually going. Just trust her, Ironhide. She's not a little girl anymore. She'll be off to college in a couple of years." Sarah said, trying to calm me down.

Oh, that did help for a little, but Ratchet and the minor Twins came by to poke fun along with to see if I needed some company while I was "grounded". Let's just say, 24 hours goes by fast and the minor Twins helped me relieve a lot of stress. Ratchet towed them back to the base with a dented wrench (that went through my roof) and two battered bumper cars. (My alt. mode wasn't made for the new tin foil cars the humans make now.) Hee hee hee...

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><p><em>Twenty-six hours later - Autobot Base - Undisclosed location…<em>

The shadowed predator crept behind the discarded boxes and hugged the walls of the supply room, quietly waiting for the prey to enter the dark abyss and into its awaiting cannons. The cannons were prepared for the screams and the future battle to the dismantlement. The creature's eyes grew brightly with blue energy. Its lips parted and a toothy grin glistened off the lights coming off the eyes. A low guttural growl with a undertone of glee escaped the creature. Light footfalls were heard at first then they quickened and fell louder as the prey grew closer to the supply closet. The two young preys were completely unaware of the danger that was ready to pounce on them. The one with large vents on the side of its head continued to laugh about their events yesterday along with the poor, innocent victim they had demeaned and left unarmed. The other one added how it was so easy in taking advantage of the victim while he was in recharge.

The predator stayed still while they went through the compartments, trying to find the high-grade fuel one of the others had hidden there. The predator conspired with another predator who had helped him when he was in his time of "need". The helpful predator warned the other of the repercussions of his actions if the prey was beaten too badly. His wrench waved around in a threatening matter. The predator promised some carnage, but just enough for the helpful predator to repair in some time. This sealed the fate of the unknowing prey.

The predator sent a silent command to the doors to close, encasing the prey and the predator in the darkness. No one would come to rescue the two. The violent, formal victim roared and leaped from its niche. Both prey screamed in a high pitched voice when the predator revealed its' self. The prey without the large vents escaped the pounding, but the other one wasn't so lucky. The escaped prey frantically pawed at the door, trying to break the seal. He nearly collapsed in relief when it did. He was ready to leave his pleading, suffering brother, but the hand of the predator came from behind him and clamped onto his mouth. The prey broke from the grasp, but the oddly marked predator grabbed at his foot, making him to fall. The fallen prey screamed out for mercy and for help, but the predator bellowed out about how he would let them go…after the torture they were to endure. The prey scrambled at the floor, trying to get traction so he could crawl away, but the predator violently dragged his other victim into the room. The door slams shut and the victim gets thrown across the room. "You better remember this the next time you ever consider pranking me or manipulating her." The preys didn't have to be told who "her" was. They just continued to cry and whimper.

A small, female, organic being with long blonde hair and blue eyes followed the carnage that was heard across the facility and put her ear close to the door. The whimpering prey screamed again with a female range of voice. The being on the other side jumped back and steadied herself as loud thuds and thunderous booms from the predator's cannons rocked her nearly off her feet. She quietly sent prayers to her creator for the two distraught preys in the next room. She then turned and ran off toward the wrench-welding predator's lair, awaiting the damaged preys to be dragged in like carcasses.

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><p><strong>And that ends our little story. Sorry, my brain decided to work for me and I finally got a chapter out. I hope the wait was worth it. College is starting up next Monday so Idk when I can get a chapter out for TWH. Thank you for all the reviews and favorites of this story. I'm STILL getting reviews and favorites for Decepticon Prisoner Guide. (Okay, for people who still wonder who the author was in the second one, here's some options to help narrow it down… Starscream, Skywarp, or Thundercracker) I hope the chapter gave you giggles and milk-out-the-nose reactions while reading it. <strong>


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